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looking and sounding and acting as if you are passionately in love widen
your eyes, raise and lower your voice, gesture dramatically, talk as if filled
with intense devotion or uncontrollable emotion. Yes, it all sounds silly.
Yes, it works.
To inspire an emotion, you must first exhibit that emotion.
Review
1. To make someone else feel an emotion, you should look and sound as
if you are feeling that emotion yourself.
2. The more intensely you exhibit the emotion, the more thoroughly you
can induce it.
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XXVI. Inner Wealth, or Giving Her All You ve Got, Without Having to Buy
Her Anything
Get a piece of paper and a pen. This is one of the most important
parts of this book. In this section, you ll learn how to turn the raw material of
your life into ammunition. You ll learn how to transform the details of your
life and your dreams into the inner wealth a woman craves.
Jot down the following things:
1 Your job
2 Something you do for fun
3 Something you really want to do but haven t done yet
4 Something you ve done and really loved
5 Some experience you had that is at least somewhat, mildly unusual
6 Some places you ve been
7 Something you do for fun which would probably bore most people
8 Particulars about a time you fell in love, or a friend of yours fell in love,
or movies you ve seen or stories you ve read about falling in love
Now go through each of the things you ve written down, and think of how
the various parts of each item and every item can be broken down into
many, many parts--can be related to one of the following positive emotions:
1)intrigue/curiosity
2) absorption/fascination/dreaminess/childlike perceptions/surrender to
something greater
3) emotional connection to other people
4) intensity/excitement
5) daring/bravery
6) power/success/competence
7) doing things unconsciously, automatically, instinctively
8) sexual arousal
To break each item down, consider the following questions: What,
specifically, was I seeing at the time, and what would she see if she were in
my position? What was I imagining? What was I hearing or telling myself?
What was I feeling emotionally or physically?
When assembling these descriptions, concentrate on linking the
experiences to the emotional states. Fudge all you need to. Even if you
hate your job, for example, or that trip to Yellowstone was the most boring
three days of your life, imagine what, in the best of all possible worlds,
could be or could have been worthwhile about those experiences. Milk
them, and take all the time you need.
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To get you started, here s an example: Making widgets. Even
though you may despise making widgets all day at the widget factory, you
can still convert the experience into a tapestry of rich details and narratives.
When Joe next to me hands me the widget, I always find myself
taking a deep breath just instinctively, you know and then I find
myself getting totally absorbed in the process of examining the thing in
front of me. You know, you just feel that place of passion open up inside
of you, because you re beginning to feel this emotional and even
spiritual connection. This is what you feel, when you know going to do
the thing that s important right now. It s as if, in that moment, I m a kid
again, maybe seven years old. And I m in awe of this piece of blue wood,
orange plastic, and gunmetal gray steel that s in my hands. I think of all
the people whose lives I m going to touch by making this widget as perfect
as can be, and this is incredibly exciting. When I think of this sense of
connection, I feel this warmth flow up through my solar plexus, down
my legs, along my arms, pulsing, pulsing, pulsing. The widget feels
good in my hands, because I ve handled lots of widgets, and I now have
a deep, instinctive comfort with them it may sound silly, but it s a kind of
oneness. I mean, you know what that s like? You know, it s the kind of
feeling that comes from just surrendering to a sense of connection, and
going with it. It s a kind of artistry. I feel being an artist is mainly a matter of
how you feel about what you do. I m a widget-maker, and my hands know
exactly how to make certain things feel good.
When you read the paragraph above, you probably thought, That s
the lamest, most banal and idiotic bullshit I ve ever read. Most women
would laugh in my face if I spouted off like that.
Well, guess what. Women s brains really are wired differently, and
they process language differently. Different kinds of language appeal to
them. If you want to see what I mean, go try to read a romance novel.
Email me if you get more than ten pages in without getting totally lost or
thoroughly nauseous.
In any case, realizing that women are wired to respond to language
which men would find incomprehensible or ludicrous, and then learning
how to dish it out, at will, with exactly the right delivery, is critical if you want
to able to walk into any given room and fondle the breasts of the prettiest
girl there within five to ten minutes.
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XXVII. A Map of the World: Two Strategies for Seduction
All of the techniques and distinctions you are learning to use have a
single goal: Leading your female listener to experience more pleasure than
she was experiencing a moment before.
There are two basic strategies you can employ to further this goal:
1. Get her thinking about a pleasurable experience, one that
she hadn t really considered before.
2. Get her thinking about some pleasurable fantasy or memory
that s latent within her.
Approach One, in which you tell her about an experience--your
experience, perhaps, or your friend s experience, or really, any experience-
- without asking for any information from her, is usually the best place to
start.
Why?
When you start off telling her about an experience, as opposed to
asking her about her experiences or values, she s much less likely to feel
threatened, invaded, or put on the spot. By feeding her descriptions filled
with imagery and emotional abstraction, you make her feel good while
letting her feel safe. From her perspective, it seems as if you are inviting
her into your inner world.
Basically, you are taking her out of her present circumstances, and
by feeding her rich, pleasurable descriptions, you are taking her someplace
she will like more.
Once you feed one pleasurable description, feed her another and
another and another. Describe a given emotion three or five or seven ways.
Take your time. Then move to another, slightly more intense emotion.
Move from talking about comfort, for example, to talking about learning.
Describe that emotion three or five or seven ways, at length and in detail.
Quote a friend, real or imaginary, on the subject of the emotion you re
describing, so that you seem to be telling your listener your friend s opinion
on the matter.
Approach Two consists of probing your listener s inner world that
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